I was just a young girl from France, freshly out of college and on the road to pursuing my dream of becoming a painter. During my final studies I met an older man while studying abroad in New York City, that of course swept me off my feet and into his life. He asked me to marry him, after two years of living in New York and being with him I said yes. And suddenly we were off to starting our new life in a small but glorious studio in Manhattan. 

Eventually, I discovered a darker side to him and along with that dark side, his drug abuse. He dabbled in everything, ranging from weed to heroine.  I’m not sure where his dreams went, but I also know that I followed them into that abyss that they disappeared into.  It wasn’t an addiction for me… I guess I was stronger… better…  My husband was struggling to have his art pieces sold in every artistic trade. But still we were happy and enjoying every moment.

Soon after however, I started to model and for a brief moment, I put my dreams of achieving artistic greatness on hold.  We barely had money to eat after the rent was paid and so I moved on to a more provocative trade of modeling.  
My husband’s mistress wasn't a women, it was always his narcotics.  He never laid a hand on me and for that reason I told myself  that I was always was ok with the adulterous relationship he had with the drugs.  I kept chasing the cash to help him and I was making more than ever, but I couldn’t even buy a new pair of panties.

It was so bad that before I go to bed at night now I still remember the times I was only left with a few bags of clothes to keep me warm.  I always thought that I would never experience being homeless but I was.  It’s embarrassing when I look back on it.  And the crazy thing is that if he were to come back now I know I would be right back in the same cycle and right back on the streets, I can’t help but crave the rush of the mental anguish that is him. I was high off of him, and while he was my drug I was never his favorite.

This blog was based on a true story.  Some details were modified to protect the identity of the victim(s).

Written By: Viet
Edited By: Alexis
Volunteer Male Model: Dayo
Volunteer Female Model: Shiran

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